On Love, Loss, and Not Making Pie
August 13, 2011 § Leave a comment
My main guilty pleasure and unfortunately procrastination technique these days is reading blogs, mostly baking and other food-related blogs. Now I have added some Paris blogs into the mix so that I have some idea of what is going on in the city while I am here. I have a few favorites that I check every day or two, others I am linked to in one way or another but do not read regularly. Today, many food bloggers are making pie at the request of a fellow blogger who lost her young husband, suddenly and unexpectedly, to a heart attack. I do not have the ingredients for the pie at hand. In any case her specific request is to make the pie and share it with someone you love, to grasp the present moment with them as you never know when it will be your last. Since I do not (yet) have any loved ones here in Paris I will not make the pie, but I have been thinking about that last moment. Newly out of a long-term relationship, I am still extremely raw over the loss, even if I was the one to finally walk away. I sometimes lose my breath when I realize that I may quite likely never talk to or see my former love again. It can be quite paralyzing to not know how or what he is doing, that if something ever did happen to him, I would not know it. I suppose I gave up that right. All I can do is wish him all the very best for happiness and love and health and security and success. So instead of baking and eating pie I am just sending those thoughts his way today, in honor of a woman who lost her love, and in honor of the love that he and I did have.