Here I Am, There I Was, My Heart and Mind are Somewhere In Between

August 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

ici vous êtes! poster, bus shelter, Avenue Courteline, Paris 75012

I saw this very timely (for me) poster yesterday on my long walk. Here I am in Paris, there I was in New York. The resultant in-between-ness I have been experiencing for some time now has been enhanced throughout this weekend as I have been glued to the news of Hurricane Irene as she made her way up the East Coast of the USA, passing through North Carolina which was once my home and then over New York which until very recently was my home.

It is a strange feeling. As much as I love Paris and am so thankful to be able to live here while I work on my dissertation, I do not think that Paris will be my long-term home. Nor do I expect to return to New York. So in fact I do not know where my next home will be, an open space ahead of me which I find both exciting and terrifying. For the moment I am relieved that Irene does not seem to have been as destructive as was feared, and I can feel sure that those who are important to me in New York are almost certainly safe and doing just fine.

Perhaps out of sympathy Paris has been quite cool and rainy this weekend, including with much sporadic pouring rain yesterday. I always feel a bit guilty and uncomfortable being happy about cloudy gray skies and cool breezes, any time of the year but especially during the summer when I know how most other people are longing for and expecting hot sunny days. But I am happy. I am more comfortable in my skin when I am not hot. And since I am really not that comfortable in my own skin at all, I appreciate any little bit of help I can get from nature. Especially from nature which today is and has every reason to be extremely angry with people. It is hard not to believe that things are not seriously changing in our natural world. Just look at the past month in New York City alone-extraordinary heat wave, a small earthquake, a hurricane/tropical storm. Looking back over the past year there have also been blizzards and tornadoes and probably other weather events that I am forgetting. If only politicians and leaders the world over were ready to open their eyes and take steps toward changing their attitudes and policies. Think of all the lives that could be saved. Think of all the NATURE that could be saved.




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